![]() These findings illuminate why the narcissist is blissfully unconcerned with being found out. Confirming our deepest suspicions about gender differences, women told more prosocial lies and men more self-serving ones. Further, only 1 percent of college students claimed to have told nary a lie that was true of 9 percent of the community members. Among the college students, a lie was told in 1 out of 3 interactions among community members, it was 1 out of 5. ![]() Their method was to recruit 77 college students and 70 people from the community and have each person keep a week-long diary of social interactions and to note the number of lies told in each. But when we use deception to edit that self-such as by giving yourself a degree you didn’t earn-we are working to create a false impression. Their theoretical starting point was that the self we present to the world is curated and edited when we present those meant-for-the-public selves honestly, we highlight the relevant parts. That’s what a 1996 paper by fellow blogger Dr. Not only do most people lie but they do so with surprising frequency.Here’s where it gets weird and murky why would you continue to lie when exposure was 100 percent guaranteed? Answering that question takes a bit of scientific insight. That’s where I was wrong: The narcissist’s lies are the heart of the matter. Of course, I also believed his version of that story too. And I somehow thought this was behavior he’d gotten used to in his first, failed marriage. The minister who married us actually talked about our divergent ways of seeing truth. I thought it was weird and somewhat manipulative but I didn’t see it as important after all, he had promised never to lie to me. Had I asked the ‘right’ one, he implied, he would have told me the truth. But when I caught him in a small lie, he’d counter by saying he didn’t lie but that I simply asked the wrong question. He reminded me that “Even the Wolfman needs a defense” and that the last thing a defense attorney wants to know is whether his client is actually guilty. Because he had been a lawyer for over 30 years, I chalked it up to the hidden costs of his profession-that peculiar zone that resides between truth and what might be true. We joked about it-how I was a moralist and he was more of a relativist-but I didn’t get what motivated him. I knew that he and I had a different relationship to the truth but I didn’t really understand it.
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